A little bit of sarcasm to start the season?

Recently (today,) "Where's The Ice?" made the following request. Below it is my response. Enjoy!

"Do you guys want to have a telephone meeting to get organized for this year? Maybe we could meet for an hour one evening this week or next."

An hour! An hour! What are you nuts? :) Do you have an hour of spare time!?!? :) It is August, you know. Shouldn't you be OPNETWORKing or something?

Anyway, what the bleep do we need a meeting for? It seems pretty simple to me. Write something. Post it.

I also think that in following suit with ESPN and the AP, we shouldn't have a poll either. Nobody gets ranked. The BCS will just pick two teams out of a hat to play in the title game. Each team will get 1 free entry. Each team can buy additional entries for some astronomical price. Thus leaving us with a Miami vs Notre Lame national championship every year until the end of time. It'd be great!

Or rather we could have a poll where everyone is number one. If you lose, doesn't matter to who, you drop to 117th. Doesn't matter if you win 10 straight. If you lose the 11th, you're the new 117th. The team that lost on day one and wins 10 straight would move all the way to number two or three or whatever.

That's how, I'm voting this year!

At the end if we have two [insert U-word here] teams their number one and number one. They play each other and the winner gets to be number one. The other gets to be 117th.

So you say, what if they're three [insert U-word here] teams? Or worse, one of the [insert U-word here] comes from the [gasp] Mountain West, or the [egads no!] Big East! What do they do then?

The latter part is simple. You change the formula such that a team from a 2nd tier conferences like the Sun Belt and the Big East lose points for being undefeated. You came from a lesser conference. You don't deserve a championship! Poser! Go back to spending money on edumacation! College is for football!

Well, now if you have three number ones, each team plays each other in a loser sport like say basketball or baseball. You know ones where they don't need a week to recover from exhaustion and brain hemorrhages received in each game.

And we're not talking about each school's basketball or baseball team. We're talking the offensive lines of each team. Can you picture that? 300+ lb. giants battling it out on the hardwood?

-EhhTee

P.S. I'm free on Wednesday.